freedom

I’m giving myself a challenge this month of writing a song / poem / monologue or just general thought every day based on one word. This challenge originated over at @houseofjazzcompany on Instagram, encouraging people to journal or freely write with one word at the front of their mind – through that I thought it would be a great way to improve my ability to produce and start to accept getting past the the 3-4 day ‘perfecting’ period every now and then. Just creating whatever I create on that day and publishing it (to return to at a later date.)

This is a song I plan to come back to and record, so it might be gracing your soundcloud / facebook pages sometime in the next few weeks 🙂

You want my freedom

But you don’t care for my past

You want my all but you won’t say

You’ll stay with me anyway

You need me to hold you

But you don’t let me in

There’s so much out there for us to see

Do you want to go somewhere with me

This world is ours

but you insist on staying put

I’ll leave it alone if it’s what you want

Just tell me to stop

Loving you

It’s what I’ve grown accustomed to do

Needing you

Needing the life I thought I knew

Loving you

And everything you do

Needing you

Or telling myself that that’s true

I don’t know if I need you

I don’t know if this love’s true

But I know for sure that I’m not free

Not free with you holding me

I never intended

For things to go so south

I never intended to let you affect my mental health

You made me lonely

When I was in your company

I could feel I was better being just me

Free in my garden

The sun shining down on me

No clouded questions

No doubts to be seen

I don’t know if its what’s best for me

I don’t know if I should

I don’t know if I can keep on

Loving you

And everything you do

Needing you

Or telling myself that that’s true

I don’t know if I need you

I don’t know if this love’s true

But I know for sure that I’m not free

Never free with you holding me

Back from all this joy in the world

Down with the power you did nothing to earn

Away from the road I can travel along

Down a path where I don’t feel so wrong

You did nothing to see

Things from the point of view I see

You’re not going to make me happy

I’m the only one who can make me happy

Loving me

And everything I could be

Needing to be free

To see all the beauty

I can see through my eyes

I fly through the skies

If I want to

I don’t want you

I want to be free

– Ella Biddlecombe